if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
