i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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