if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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