that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
