I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
