My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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