currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
