you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize