I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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