So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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