STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
