i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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