I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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