Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want nice things and good sex
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
