You made me cry and you don't even care
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
