HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
