Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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