she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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