oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
