I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
