My room smells like vodka and shame
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
