so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
