is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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