im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
