...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
