i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
