I got chris browned last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
