Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
