youre lurking in front of me
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
