it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
