Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
