We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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