He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize