Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
not ubering you a puppy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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