Did you just see the Batmobile???
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize