Buhtt sex?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
