Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
