Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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