Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
