She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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