finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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