Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are the jesus of drinking
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
