Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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