Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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