Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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