One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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