all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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