a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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