My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
