pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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